its okay

so.  we did it. its gorgeous. it matters. wow.

and yet, yesterday two days after the amazing opening, I woke up with a ball in the pit of my stomach and spent most of the day in that sort of exhausted near breakdown state that you get when you’ve given too much and it catches up to you.

everything catches up to you.

like everyone everywhere, its the money stuff that is stressful.  we didn’t come into the amazing place that we were on Sunday without accumulating some debt.  things that you can’t stop when you’re already two steps away, things like the plumbing requiring a hydraulic pump 17 hours before opening, or the floor that must be sealed if we plan for it to last a few years, or the rain gutters for the crazy last minute rains, or the shelves, or…

yesterday i wanted to crawl in a hole.

and then, jill dropped by the pictures from the event and i sat down to look at them.  and i cried. and its okay.  somewhere in that moment i realized that maybe my job in some way is to be the person who takes the risk and feels the pain.  i’ve certainly lived long enough to know that hard times will pass, and if it it all ends up to be what i dream it to be…

i thought i’d share some of those photos with you.